Posted 20 hours ago

How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

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contemporary parents are less authoritarian and more egalitarian with their children. 'Parents your age like to reason with their kids, like they're little adults with rational minds,' my mother says, rolling her eyes. 'No one wants to be the bad guy.'" (p170) But what, you ask, if your husband doesn’t want to do any domestic labor? What if he’s content to let you be the maker of the grocery lists and the keeper of the pediatrician appointments, summer camps, play dates and special laundry instructions? Then, Dunn, says, you are going to have to learn to ...

I can’t remember where I first saw this book, but you do NOT forget a title like How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids. However, there is some solidarity to be found – particularly online. While the highlight reel of happy families on social media can make some struggling parents feel isolated, others find support in digital communities where others candidly share their difficult experiences.Couples therapy, relationship counseling, marriage counseling; whatever name you decide to call it, Read more If you’re yelling and calling names, your kid thinks, ‘If I get in a disagreement, the way to resolve it is to speak more forcefully, more loudly, and to say harsher things to get my way.”

Many expectant parents spend weeks researching the best crib or safest car seat, but spend little if any time thinking about the titanic impact the baby will have on their marriage - and the way their marriage will affect their child. maternal gatekeeping--in which mothers can swing open the gate to encourage fatherly participation, or clang it resolutely shut by controlling or limiting Dad's interactions with kids" (p37) It shouldn’t be surprising that parenthood presents challenges to a partnership. For the vast majority of couples, what psychologists call “protective” relationship factors – such as communication, intimacy and time together – take a hit when a baby is born. Throw in stressors including sleep deprivation and financial anxiety, and it often can seem impossible for a couple to avoid more conflict or tension after having a child.I did roll my eyes a bit at the beginning but actually found myself getting more interested as the book went on. This is basically an overview of current approaches for improving a situation where a married heterosexual couple are raising young children together, both working outside the home, but having a lot of conflict at home much in the pattern of "the husband doesn't do enough household chores/childcare, the wife is exhausted and angry." Which is a particular set of circumstances, but anecdotally seems to be one that many households are suffering in, even if the couple intended to be more egalitarian than generations past.

When I first brought it home from the library, Bart raised an eyebrow and said, “I’m not sure what I think about that book.” Meh. This book should have been titled "Case study in couples therapy for a marriage between two white, upper-middle-class freelance writers with one child." If you happen to have a very similar personality to the author, with the same stereotype of husband, and one well-behaved elementary school kid, you'll find this book spot-on. Recommended for parents of all ages, How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids contains wisdom for just about every troublesome situation that one may find themselves in after children. Let's hope the book can live up to its title. When Matt, in Michigan, became a father, the postpartum period was more difficult than he ever had imagined. His wife had a traumatic birth; then his son had allergies and feeding issues. And neither he nor his wife had much nearby support. When friends warned her that, after children were added to the mix, her marriage would go downhill, she was skeptical.As crazy as it might seem, arguing or complaining can actually feel safer to most of us than simply and directly making a request." (p68)

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